One minute everything is fine, and the next you feel a bit flushed, cheeks tingling, ears getting warm. It doesn't take long for the heatwave to wash all the way to your toes, and then your head spontaneously bursts into flames. No, wait. It's just a hot flash. And the fun has only started.
Sensing the increased temperature, your sweat glands kick into gear,and with the pressure of a fire hose, sweat pours out of your body. Ladies may "glisten," but you, my friend, are sweating like a pig. You soak through your bra in mere minutes and start to wonder if when you stand up you'll look like you wet your pants. Your entire body is now trying to either put out the fire or drown you.
If you're anything like me, getting too hot has the convenient side effect of nausea, too, so you're in the nearest bathroom running cold water over your wrists, dabbing at the sweat with a lukewarm paper towel and praying you don't toss your cookies. This never happens when you're at home -- one of the few places it might be appropriate or at least acceptable for you to throw off your clothes and turn on the nearest fan.
With soaked clothes and dripping hair, your body slowly realizes it may have overreacted, and you realize you are close to hypothermia. In just 10 minutes, you've ruined your hair and makeup, your clothes look slept in and you're so uncomfortable the next person that looks at you funny might end up missing teeth. So I say what the fuck ... go have a glass of wine and call it a day. Who cares if it's only 10:30am. The way you look no one will ask any questions.
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