I love Mayonaise, but I hate mayonnaise.

It took me a long time to get comfortable in my own skin. I was awkward. Well, I still can be, but the difference is I don't care anymore. I embrace it as a part of who I am. There was a time though when I couldn't, and there were times when I was so frustrated I wanted to scream.

The first time I ever heard "Mayonaise" by Smashing Pumpkins, I fell in love. I felt like someone had looked inside my heart and understood. The melody is cathartic. Distortion punctuates the darkness of the driving base line, and the words couldn't be more on target: Can anybody hear me, I just want to be me, when I can, I will.

I was awkward and misunderstood as a kid. I was beyond my age as a teenager. I was angry and frustrated in my early 20's. I could have turned out awkward and bitter, too many people around me were on that road, but I knew somewhere deep down, that I'd find a time and place where I could be me, when I could be extraordinary. I never lost faith in that. I'm still goofy, most of the time clumsy. I'm also unafraid, unapologetic in my pursuit of being the best me I can. A lot of people still don't understand me. I admit there are many things about me that don't make sense, but most people don't seem to hold that against me. The best part is I know I've only scratched the surface of the amazing things I'm capable of. There is so much more to come.

One minute I'm an artist drawing or taking pictures, the next I'm reading the Basics of Quantum Theory or writing code.  My thirst for knowledge is matched by my need to accomplish. It drives me and gives me stamina. I hit a new stride when I moved to DC and started with my current company. For a kid with asthma, I've run quite a race. And I feel a second wind coming on.

I mean none of this in a haughty, condescending way. Knowledge and accomplishment mean nothing to me if  I can't put those talents to good use and for a good cause. I've put my talents toward building a local community for my alumni association and loyalty to the university amongst young alumni at a national level. I got behind my friend's campaign to help the homeless and built her a platform to share her experience and recruit others. There are so many things bigger than me that I can contribute to in a meaningful way. I'm driven as much as to give as I am to do anything.

My next great challenge is figuring out how I'm going to change the world.